Someone wrote in [community profile] dragonkink 2015-06-19 08:44 pm (UTC)

For Want of a Yamcha (not exactly a fill)

Okay, I took a look at this prompt and thought it was great. I’ve seen the pictures – this would be so cute.

So cute.

So I started putting some thought into it, and into what the DBZ universe would look like if Yamcha never ran into Goku, Bulma, and Oolong and no one came in to fill his role. The results surprised me.

For starters, Bulma gets molested by Oolong. Yup, that’s a thing, because one of the canonical things that happens is that Oolong slips a mickey to Goku and Bulma so he can feel her up – and it works! The only reason Bulma’s okay is that Yamcha and Pu’ar trick Oolong out of their vehicle, and as a result Oolong spends the rest of the night on guard in case they come back.

Rosy start we’ve got here.

Next up, Bulma, Goku, and Oolong (most likely with a broken limb when Bulma realises what he’s done) continue on, encounter the Ox King and Chichi. This goes pretty much as it did before, less one concussion for Chichi, so that’s a bonus. The group continues on, and here we reach a point where the story could potentially just grind to a halt: Boss Carrot/the Carrot Master. This scene also goes as before – Bulma gets turned into a carrot, and the two Rabbit Gang members start to beat Goku up, since Bulma is a hostage and a carrot. However, this time Yamcha and Pu’ar aren’t there to steal back Bulma and beat up the minions, thus giving Goku the opportunity to beat the Carrot Master, get Bulma changed back, and exile all three of them to the moon. Instead, the story takes a darker turn – Goku gets beaten up, possibly killed, Oolong flees as before, and Bulma gets taken captive by the Rabbit Gang, which is probably not a good thing in the slightest, for reasons I’ll leave to your imagination. The story ends.

However, for the sake of argument, let’s say it doesn’t end there – Goku pulls some clever stunt and gets them all out of it on his own, the journey continues, and the trio run into Pilaf, Mai, and Shu. This too proceeds as before, right up until the point where Goku looks at the moon and enters Oozaru state. At this point the story goes dark again, because Yamcha and Pu’ar aren’t there to subdue Goku and cut off his tail, thus ending the rampage, and no one else knows the secret of Goku’s tail, because Yamcha found out by spying on Goku and Chichi. At this point, in all likelihood, Goku kills everyone in the madness of an untrained Oozaru.
The next morning, Goku wakes up naked and alone, once again surrounded by devastation and corpses. He’s likely horrified, but still doesn’t know he’s the one who did all this, so either he gets over it the way he seems to have dealt with his grandfather’s death, or he swears vengeance on the moon monster. If it’s the latter, that likely leads to Goku inadvertently destroying the world and either wiping out humanity or being killed himself when someone lucks out and figures out who this were-ape really is, so, once again, let’s choose the seemingly brighter path: Goku gets over it and goes to train with Roshi.

Once again, events unfold pretty much as in canon – he trains with Roshi, meets and befriends Krillin, attends the Budokai for the first time, and meets up with Roshi in the final match. Where he once again looks at the full moon and turns Oozaru. And, since no one’s there who knows the secret of his tail, or the connection between the transformation and the moon, he goes unstopped. Everyone is killed. Goku awakens the next day naked and surrounded by a sea of corpses.

By this point, even Goku probably makes the connection, and he starts paying very strict attention to the lunar cycles – he never looks at the full moon again. He also goes to find his grandfather’s dragon ball, because he has nothing better to do. This occupies the rest of his life, as the original dragon radar was destroyed in his rampage and Bulma isn’t around to make a new one. Goku’s off searching the entire world and likely never encounters the Red Ribbon Army, so they continue their conquest and destruction unchecked – for awhile at least. Then Pilaf summons Demon King Piccolo. No one is left alive who knows the Mafuba/Demon Sealing Technique, no one is strong enough to defeat him (Tien’s still off being an assassin, having never encountered anyone from the Turtle School and thus never having had his change of heart, and Goku’s still searching for the four-star).

Kami gets sealed, and the world begins to burn as Piccolo runs unchecked. For awhile, at least. Eventually, Raditz shows up, looking for his brother Kakarrot. He searches for his brother and, since there’s still sentient life running around, finishes clearing the planet while he’s at it. Piccolo’s dead, but so is kami and so’s humanity, so it’s a moot point. Goku is either dead by this point or off living in the wild and not strong enough to defeat Raditz on his own. He is subdued and forcibly taken back to the Planet Trade, where he either dies or is eventually assimilated. Frieza’s reign of terror continues unchecked, but no one ever finds Namek, so at least they get to live happily ever after.

For awhile at least.

Earth is cleared and sold and forgotten about, no one really cares about it anymore except maybe one sad third class soldier from a nearly extinct race. And one other person. About ten years after Raditz leaves Earth, Babidi arrives on it, easily avoids whoever’s living on it now (if anyone) and finds and summons Buu. Things go the way he wants for awhile, then Buu eventually gets bored and kills him. Buu continues to do whatever the hell it pleases, and there is nothing in the universe to oppose it or stop it, so it goes unchecked.

The universe burns.

The End.

Surprised by this outcome? I sure as hell was! I’m a staunch supporter of Yamcha, I think he’s great, but it’s surprising to see just how important he is right there at the beginning of the story, especially if no new character steps in to fill the void he’s left! So, the fact of the matter is, this is a prompt with the potential for a truly MASSIVE AU universe to come into play! I might take a swing at it myself (and either ignore the most likely outcomes or say some other person stepped in to fill Yamcha’s role), or I might not. Either way, anyone else up for the challenge?

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